reverie v. reality

tiny notebook musings

a few thoughts pulled from the tiny notebook I carry around for little thoughts & observations

• • one • •

Today I woke up while the sky was still a pale, unlit gray. I got in & out of bed a few times, reluctant to start the day ahead. I'm like this in most ways - bad at committing fully.

Funny how it stretches even to this place in my life. How many other tells do I have, living in the unthinking, in-between moments? How many could I find, even if I looked & looked?

• • two • •

I wonder how other people go through life. Do they cut through it cleanly - no frisson or tumbling backwards down the line of it?

I feel like a tightrope walker, buffeted on all sides by a strong wind. I'm trying so hard to stay on the rope, I hardly move at all.

• • three • •

Even on days where I feel unsteady, the clouds still paint a soft & mountainous picture along the horizon; an ever-changing art show.

My office has a tiny window. Sometimes, I turn the lights off and look outside. If I'm lucky, I'll glance out to see a bird wheel in & out of sight, graceful in a way that soothes the restlessness for one swooping second.

• • four • •

Cows in the creek, under the tunneled treetops. They're peaceful. Looks chilly. Up to their knees (do cows have knees?) in rushing water, but they seem content & completely unconcerned with my passing by.

Maybe I should stand in a creek in the shade? Maybe I should lie down in a field & watch the sky turn orange, dark blue, then black.

#misc #personal #reveries