reverie v. reality

little life

Sitting out on the porch right now. It's cool and a little windy, but the sun is streaming down across the far corner in long, rectangular windows of light. I'm in the shade. It's colder here, but I'm in sweatpants and a warm pullover. I like looking over at the light boxes from this side. In moments like this, I wish I was more artistically inclined so I could recreate this moment.

There are a few lingering hummingbirds this time of year. Normally, we have swarms of them gleefully speeding towards one another like tiny, aggressive bumper-cars, but I've only seen two in the last hour. I guess they must be the last-minute packers of the group. I can relate.

Maybe I'll go on a walk later. The sky looks clear and blue and cloudless through the trees, but I can usually find something intriguing and beautiful out and about in the world when my cloud-watching enjoyment isn't available. I particularly love looking for the smallest flower I can find - an otherwise overlooked delight.

I'm feeling sad today, despite all of the nice things around me. Sometimes it's a feeling I just can't shake, despite my best efforts. Still, I’m trying to be present and appreciate this quiet moment.

The wind is rushing up the hill and shaking all of the leaves, and the two lone hummingbirds are chasing each other around the porch beams. (They're so territorial for such little creatures!) There are crows in the trees calling out to one another. I love crows. It's October. I love October. I slept late. I'm drinking hot tea. I'm here.

Here's hoping I can pull a little emotional shell game on my walk.

Good luck out there,

#diary #personal