listening | january - may 2024
Figured it's been a minute since my last listening post, so here are some songs I've been enjoying this year. I've been trying to separate my songs into monthly playlists on my Spotify, just so I can better see what I was really looping at the time. It's kind of fun; I make ugly little cover art for them & blast the same twelve songs for a month, then make myself swap it up when the new month ticks over.
Anyway, here are the songs I've listed on my about page under my current listening between January to now!
Song Title | Artist | Album
- "Never is a Promise" | Fiona Apple | Tidal
- "Linger" | The Cranberries | Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We?
- "cellophane" | FKA twigs | MAGDALENE
- "Obsessive Thoughts" | Madi Diaz | Weird Faith
- "Motorcyle Drive By" | Third Eye Blind | Third Eye Blind (Self-Titled)
- "All of This Will End" | Indigo de Souza | All of This Will End
- "Talk Down" | Dijon | Absolutely
- "Presumably Dead Arm" | Sidney Gish | Ed Buys Houses
- "Is There Something in the Movies?" | Samia | The Baby
- "Beatrice" | Dizzy | The Sun and Her Scorch
- "Collector" | Daffo | Pest
- "Witness" | Mt. Joy | Rearrange Us
- "Knock the Wind" | Dizzy | Dizzy
• • • •
I haven't felt like blogging this last month. Partly, I think I've hit the end of a busy period and so my bandwidth temporarily shut down. Also, I've been a little ummmm maybe uhhhh depressed...or something close to it? Feel like I'm coming out of it, though. Sometimes the sadness just slogs me down for a while.
I've been pushing myself socially, which maybe sounds overblown, but I really am both incredibly awkward and deeply introverted, so even if I have the best time in a social situation, I tend to leave it needing a lot of time to come back to myself (and also, I replay every stupid thing I said on repeat for several days in a row, which slows the recharge process down and sometimes nearly convinces me to blow up all of my friendships in order to avoid future mortification).
With all of the weddings and get-togethers that overloaded the beginning of my year, I think my writing brain was like, "Ohhhhoho - no you don't. We have talked to people WAY more than we usually do, there is no chance that we're about to turn around and go talk to the internet right now! We already have far too much material in our Stupid Shit You’ve Said That You Should Be Embarrassed About Highlight Reel without you adding more to the list."
Also, I realized recently that I actually am really rusty in one-on-one hangouts? I hadn't been aware just how rare they were for me over the last few years. When seeing friends, it was almost always in groups of three or more. I'm having to relearn how not to totally muck up a conversation, because - in an effort to make new friends and reconnect with old ones - I've ended up in dozens of one-on-ones.
I spent two days with a friend for a sleepover at her cute new apartment (it was a bit of a drive, so I drove up Friday and stayed to walk around the town with her on Saturday) and I had pep talk myself the whole drive, despite the fact that I was, like, really excited to see her and catch up! I went to get brunch with my best friend this past weekend and it was great, but I did realize that I am so terrible at dealing with natural pauses in conversations - even with someone I've known for years!!! (sigh) Practice makes perfect, I guess.
• • • •
I got some photos back from an old point-and-shoot camera I've been carrying around (Olympus XA1, thrifted by my younger brother) and while I got some fun shots, many of them were blurrier than I expected. I felt a twinge of frustration when I first flicked through them, but after letting it rest for a day and returning to them, I think I like them more than I thought. The imperfection of film is part of its charm and all. I do wish I knew why it was so unfocused. I've been trying to dig around online for hints or tips, but I haven't found anything useful yet.
I carry the camera around with me in my purse, so I have some shots from my Grandma's birthday party, brunchtime bagels with my best friend, a walk through a terraced community garden, and a dozen other random moments. Fingers crossed that my next roll of film will turn out a little more in-focus - but if not, these things happen. What can you do?
• • • •
Oh! Another related anecdote: I went to a concert by myself this month for an artist I really like. (I used to go to things by myself all the time when I was in my grad school program! Another thing I'm rusty at now.) Anyway, it was...not good. Which I feel so guilty saying, because I absolutely adore this singer, but the show was just kind of a hot mess.
There was that same twinge of frustration during the first fifteen minutes of the show where I was painfully disappointed that things weren't turning out quite like I hoped...and then I thought, "Actually, you know what? This might as well happen. Honestly, it's kind of hilarious." And I had the best time for the rest of the show and I got in my car afterward, blasted the recorded versions of my favorite songs that were played at the show, and laughed the whole way home.
I should note that I have a feeling that this show was something of a fluke, because I know from friends and family that this performer is amazing live, so if they ever come back through town, I'll still definitely roll up for the next performance.
• • • •
To wrap this up (& in the interest of maintaining some through-line within this series), here's another clip. Disclaimer that I'm out of practice in singing and guitar, so this is edited to cut out the worst of my fumbled chords. I really love this song, so I hope I didn't completely mangle it.
Good luck out there,
Eve